Hello friends!

Here we are, well into May. 

I've been stalling on writing this month's installment of the Report, partly because I've been busy wrapping up my day job, and submitting to the Sundance Screenwriters Lab and also the New Voices Lab (man am I sick of writing mission statements) ... and partly because I've been waiting on a bit of good news that I wanted to share. 

I'm directing a play! Got the contract in my ol' inbox yesterday afternoon, which felt very fancy. Back when I was directing plays in NYC I never signed a contract not once. 

I had to pitch to get the gig, which was also a new experience for me.

I spent a day or two writing out my thoughts, cleanly and cohesively and conversationally, and then I memorized them. I "pitched" over and over in the car and in the ladies room at work and lying in bed before I fell asleep, tinkering with the thing until it was perfect. I even sang it one time through. 

And then I sat down in front of the Artistic & Management Committee at Theatre of Note, and I did it. It kind of went by in a blur. Like, did I leave anything out? Did I actually manage to say all the words?? I have no idea. I haven't had to pitch much—yet—as a screenwriter/director, but I know it's a skill I need to hone.

The trick is you have to genuinely believe what you’re saying. I opened with, “I love this play,” and “when someone sent me the New York Times review of Great Lakes two years ago, I was racked with jealousy that I hadn’t directed it,” and THIS IS TRUE. ALL TRUE.

“A Beautiful Day in November on the Banks of the Greatest of the Great Lakes” is the full name of the great, hard, hilarious play, written by my old friend Kate Benson, in which a family Thanksgiving becomes a competition sport narrated by a pair of professional sportscasters. Kate and Lee Sunday Evans, who directed in NYC, won a joint Obie for their production, so no pressure, Laramie.

I’m not worried. Or maybe I’m just the right amount of worried? My production will be very different.

Anyhoo, we open in Los Angeles on November 4th. I’ll be sure to keep you posted.

In other news, I wrote an essay for Refinery29 about how much I hate having my picture taken. I thought articulating the problem might help me work shit out, but nope. I pretty much still hate it.

*****

This month in the gluten-free section: May I recommend Mrs. Katz's glazed donuts? They're not quite as good as the glut-free donuts from Donut Friend in Highland Park.... But they're pretty damn good. (Especially if you haven't had a real donut in a while.)